The Cost of Happiness
by Kittn D'Kale LaCara
Summary: What Quatre wouldn't give for Relena to think of him the way she does Heero. What he wouldn't do to make her happy, even at the cost of his own.
1. Missing Piece

**DISCLAIMER**:

Don't own, not gonna, wish I did. No money, not gonna be, wish there was…

He had it all…kind of. He had a great job that satisfied him even if it did completely run his life. He had a wonderful family who were able to occasionally come up with good enough excuses to run away from work for a while. He had good friends that had helped him to end not one but two wars so that the normal person could live as peaceful a life as life can get. But as Quatre continued to work at the job he loved, running the multi-billion dollar company his father had built, and continued to be one of the most influential voices of the Pacifist Political Party supporting continued peace and the banning of arms he became painfully aware of something missing.

At first it was nothing more than a vague sense. Like the feeling that he had misplaced something or left something on at home. Quatre would become aware of it at the oddest moments such as when he was reading the newest proposal of arm's disbandment or watching the headlines in the morning of the world news. Just like a scratch he could not reach, Quatre would ignore it and go about his day. When the feeling became stronger, more insistent, Quatre would shake his head to dispel it. He was too busy to examine what it meant or what it could be. Then, six months ago at a Political ball where the height of the political world gathered to socialize the feeling hit Quatre right square in the eyes. His mouth had literally dropped open. What he had been missing had been there all along, he just had not seen it. Now it was sitting across from him at the small café that had become their usual meeting spot when she was visiting and had a free morning. Quatre himself always made sure his mornings were clear when she visited.

_ 'Beautiful…'_ Quatre thought to himself for likely the thousandth time as he sat across from Relena. He admired her carefree laugh at the birds outside the window of the café. He delighted in their talk of unimportant, normal, everyday things while waiting for their usual orders. But he most enjoyed being able to sit with her without the pressure of their hectic lives intruding.

She was wearing a blue sweater over a cream colored skirt that just reached her mid thighs. Her honey-blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck. With the promise of a day completely to herself Relena's eyes sparkled. A small tendril of hair had pulled loose and hung rebelliously to the side of her face calling Quatre's attention to the graceful line of her neck, begging him to reach out and put it back. He smiled sadly to himself as he wondered what her hair would feel like in his fingers, her skin against his knuckles as he brushed the strand back. _'If only I could…'_

"Quatre, are you even listening? You've seemed distracted all morning. Our waitress is new and she's been flirting with you this whole time." Relena shook her head at him and laughed quietly. "It's easy to forget you were once the pilot of a feared gundam with as much attention you pay to your surroundings and as gentle a heart as you've got."

"Oh?" Quatre gave her a puzzled look and craned his neck to catch sight of the young brunette that was serving them today. _'You only think that because of him.'_ He knew Relena had been trying to catch his attention and was just jesting with him, but he wanted to hear her really laugh and acting a bit of a fool was sure to do it. Quatre smiled when he heard that he had been right.

"Well our hour's almost up. It's too bad you couldn't have gotten the whole day away like I did, though that was a miracle in itself. It's really good stress relief and I've been under a lot of pressure with the new arms proposal."

Quatre took a sip of tea and grimaced slightly. It had gone cold. "The one that is supposed to stimulate the economy on L1 and L2? I've heard about it. I seem to remember a conference being scheduled for it the week after next…?"

Relena waved her hand distractedly as she looked in her purse. No doubt looking for her credit card or some such to pay for her portion of the bill. "That's the one. I'm still in the middle of working up a counter debate and alternative strategy to get the job market going but I've been so burnt out for the last few days. I'm glad we were still able to make our outing though. I wasn't even sure I'd still be here on the colony."

_ 'Outing…it's always an outing. Never a date. Relena won't you ever….'_ Quatre's thoughts were cut off abruptly as he was forced to scoop up the bill before Relena had a chance to grab it. It was the one point of argument for every morning they were able to meet.

"I'll get it."

"Quatre, you always get it. In the last two years I've never once gotten it. I am capable…"

He reached his arm out and dared just the slightest touch of her hand to forestall further argument. Her skin felt cool to the touch but Quatre was raging inside. At the moment they had connected he had felt a spark sizzle up his arm and into his heart, and lower. Pulling his hand away quickly he gave Relena a dazzling smile.

"What kind of gentleman would I be if you picked up the check? It's not that I think you're dependent or need to be coddled. I know you don't. But I am a man of honor and a gentleman besides."

He knew she would give in. She always did, so when Relena gracefully acknowledged defeat Quatre humbly paid their bill. He smiled and waved at those who called out greetings as he escorted Relena towards the front of the café but his mind was occupied. Automatically holding the door for a stream of customers entering, Quatre could not help but feel the pain nearing. _'She'll ask, as she always does and I'll have to see the hurt in her eyes as I always do. Please Relena, please don't ask this time. Let it go…'_ Finally the last in-rushing customer passed through allowing Quatre to join Relena out on the sidewalk.

His limousine was already waiting with the door open for him to enter. If he was quick, which being a former gundam pilot and having undergone the rigorous training that accompanies such a thing he was, then he could get in the car and be pulling away before Relena even thought to ask him the dreaded question. He could have always pleaded the fact that now he was running late as an excuse, but no. It was there, in her eyes, the pain, the hurt and the ruthless trampling of her pride as she hoped against hope that this time his answer would be different. _'What I wouldn't give to be able to soothe away your pain Relena. What I wouldn't do to be able to give you even an ounce of comfort. Allah help me.'_ Quatre braced himself.

"Any word?"

The pain was instant and constant. Quatre held back a sigh as he shook his head. Seeing her own instant pain, the spark of hope again crushed, he had to hold himself back from grabbing his chest. He waited as she gave him a small smile, the one that said she was hurting but did not want him to know it, and walked away towards her free day. Quatre slid into the back of his ride and plastered the semblance of a smile on his face. The farthest reaches of his soul ached for her misery and for his own. If it meant that at least one of them would not have to hurt anymore Quatre would gladly shred his heart against the shattered glass of Relena's love for Heero. Unfortunately, Heero had always been the best of them, the perfect soldier, and had not wanted to be found for two years now.

Quatre Raberba Winner was the forgotten pilot. The one nobody looked to for strength, or for love. A woman, a friend, looked to him for hope of a love lost to her, for a pleasant morning, but not to fill the missing something of his life. His missing something, that one thing that could make his life and his happiness complete, had no idea he loved her and probably never would. For once, Quatre did not count his loyalty to his friend as a good thing.

A/N: Allright...not a horrible start I think. It's been years since I wrote this and had the data corrupted and therefore lost. I can't remember it exactly but hopefully that won't matter. Ok. Next chapter in a few days. And before anyone asks, yes I'm aware the pairing for this story is 1xR not 4xR. Have patience. Quatre is meant to be the main character.


	2. Beginning of the End

His office was a madhouse. Quatre simply stood in the doorway and stared, his eyes raking quickly over the chaos and attempting to discern its cause. The large room which was usually so quiet echoed with shouts in several pitches ranging from a frantic, high pitched female to the low, angry baritone of a man all of which were completely unintelligible as a jumbled mass. When not one of his employees noticed his presence and instead continued to simply shout at one another Quatre decided enough was enough. Putting his fingers to his lips he whistled as loud as he could manage and was rewarded with sudden, sharp silence. Quatre took a deep breath and smiled brilliantly even as he calculated whether or not the shrieks and shouts would start again before he could make it to his desk. To delay the noise a bit further he addressed the fifteen people now staring at him with slightly unfocused eyes.

"Good morning everyone. I'm sure whatever reason you are all in here is important but I would like to sit down and have a cup of tea while I listen to whatever it is that has all of you in my office at once. If you would kindly calm yourselves a little..." Quatre let his sentence taper off as he made his way to the large mahogany monstrosity covered with a simple desktop computer, a phone, a large white desk calendar and no fewer than three different appointment books. The only personal statement Quatre had allowed himself was a single photograph in a clear frame. It was taken by Duo at the celebration party after the end of Mariemaia's war and featured all the pilots, Relena and her brother, Miss Noin and Miss Po. He sent a thankful prayer to Allah that even in a state of confusion his staff had been efficient enough to have the days agenda already on his desk along with a cup of tea as was his want. A small, bracing sip later found Quatre making eye contact with his personal assistant who, though flushed, none the less looked immaculate as always. "Miss Konly, if you would please explain the situation."

"Yes sir. There was an unauthorized entrance last night at approximately 2 o'clock in the morning. Several items have been reported missing from all departments and upon entering your office I saw that your personal wall safe had been compromised as well. I contacted the head of security to inform him and question why the security systems had failed. He informed me that the systems were fine and did not even show a sign of malfunction or tampering. We have yet to determine what exactly happened. I contacted the police. They arrived within minutes and began an investigation but are currently concentrating in other areas of the building. I have nothing new to report on their activities or findings."

"All right. I'm sure the police investigation will turn up the culprit and have every confidence that any damage will be repaired. I want every single employee to thoroughly check their desk, computers and personal work spaces and compile a list of anything that is missing or may have been accessed. These lists are to be given to the head of their department who will then give them to you and you to me. This is all normal procedure so my question is this...why do I have fifteen frantic employees shouting at each other in my office?"

Quatre smiled to take the sting out of his slight reprimand and waited patiently as said employees mumbled under their breaths and several began to file out of the room. At the last Quatre was left with his personal assistant, his head of security, and what looked to be a plain clothes detective. Without another word Miss Konly placed a sheet of paper on his desk in front of him. Quatre read it silently to himself through the plastic evidence bag it was encased in. His heart squeezed painfully, lodging itself in his throat and refusing to allow him to even breathe for over a minute. Opening his eyes, unaware he had closed them at all, Quatre looked from the note in his hand to the photograph on his desk and back. _'This is it. The beginning of the end. Allah, why now? Oh god, what am I even thinking. I should be happy. __Shouldn't I?' _He was brought out of his silent musing by his assistant's voice. She was speaking to him, asking him something. With an effort he forced himself to focus on what she was saying.

"Sir? We were shouting because I wanted to call the Preventers but Mr. Timmons did not think it necessary. This is the first breach of security we have experienced in years and by the reports so far it is a huge one. Many of the employees were upset, confused and wondering why the Preventers would be needed for a simple, if damaging, burglary. I did not want to alarm them. Since they refused to leave the office I began shouting to distract them."

Quatre had taken advantage of the time Miss Konly's lengthy explanation afforded him to compose himself. He ruthlessly pushed his personal feelings as far to the side as he could and concentrated on the task at hand. As a result his mind was now distracted and, to be truthful, annoyed. It was fine to have a demonstration to show Quatre the weak points in his security but this was too much. His employees were upset, which meant they were not productive, and the local police were involved. Repressing the uncharacteristic urge to growl out his sudden frustration, Quatre merely took another sip of his tea and turned calm eyes to the detective.

"I assume you are Mr. Timmons? Detective?" At the man's nod Quatre half raised out of his chair and shook his hand. The only sign of Quatre's continued agitation was the force of his grip. He saw Timmons wince a bit and immediately loosened his hold. "I appreciate you're timely arrival and the work you have already put into this case but I assure you there is no need to investigate further. I will not be pressing charges."

"You know the perp?" Timmons asked, his brows raised nearly to his hairline which Quatre idly noticed was receding. A quick glance at Miss Konly told Quatre that she was surprised as well. He sighed. _'I wonder if I'm going to have to tell them. I'm sure he wouldn't want his name connected to this if I can stop it. I suppose its too late to thwart the press as well. This will be front page news in less than an hour. Great. Just what I needed.'_

"I do but I would rather not disclose his name as he was only trying to show me the inadequacy of my current security measures. As for the media," Quatre turned to face his assistant, "let them know there was a false alarm and a misunderstanding. Hopefully they won't report it."

"But, sir, what about the threat?"

"You mean this?" Quatre held the sheet of paper off his desk and out to Detective Timmons. "It's not a threat. It's just my friend being himself. He's a man of few words and what little he says is to the point. Besides, I can take care of myself. I'm not helpless."

When the detective gave him an assessing look Quatre simply smiled at him disarmingly until Timmons looked away with an awkward shake of his balding head. It was tiresome, but Quatre had gotten used to people underestimating his physical prowess overtime and had even learned to take advantage of it during the war. Simply because he was a business mogul and dressed in suits did not mean Quatre could not be physically intimidating. He had undergone extensive training to not only pilot Sandrock but also be able to handle himself well in unarmed combat. He could do anything the other pilots could and people often forgot that such an innocent looking young man was more than capable of violence. That fact had not changed over time, and the chore of reminding others when necessary was still tiresome, but familiar all the same.

"And the reports of the items stolen or accessed?" Miss Konly effectively broke the silence of the past several seconds. Quatre turned his smile on her and took another sip of his now tepid tea.

"I still want them."

When he said nothing more his personal assistant simply bowed and politely offered to show the detective out. He knew she was curious as to why he would still want reports for the things presumably stolen if Quatre was not going to press charges, and he had felt like explaining but quashed the urge. For once, Quatre just wanted everyone out of his office and some time alone to think. As soon as the click of his door told him these conditions had been met Quatre slumped into his chair, leaned his elbows on his desk and closed his eyes. '_See you at home. Very funny. Couldn't just leave the note, nope, had to rile up my security as well. I'm going to be glad to see you, really, but...oh Allah, please don't let him hurt her again. Isn't it enough I already feel damned for being a loyal friend when I so badly want to be more? I won't be strong enough to stand by and watch it this time and then I'll hate myself. I'd have her, but not her heart and forgive me but it's just not the same.' _


	3. Unecessary

Quatre was used to feeling a little unease when he got home for the day. After all, it might have been a beautiful two story mansion done in contemporary white with the required extensive gardens and pool but it was lonely. He was just one person and his home could probably house his entire extended family with room left over. _' Just one of those image things that goes with being wealthy and in the public eye.'_ Today was different though. Today, someone he both wanted to see and dreaded to see would be waiting for him somewhere inside his home. Today had started normal, went to frustrating, continued on toward anxious and was going to end in despair. _' Two years he's gone and the entire time I keep hoping he'll come back so she won't be so sad and then when he does show up I'm feeling like this? I wish my heart and my mind would shake hands and agree to play nice.' _Quatre closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try and dispel his melodramatic thoughts just as his limousine stopped.

"Welcome home, Master Quatre."

"Thank you, Rashid. Tell me, has anyone arrived here?" Quatre knew Heero was unlikely to announce his visit but asked anyway.

"No. Are you expecting someone?"

Quatre took in the slightly concerned and definitely questioning look on Rashid's face before explaining the scene at his office this morning. Asking that Rashid make sure the cook was informed there would be a guest for dinner, Quatre excused himself to his bedroom. Being able to change out of his business suit and into his more accustomed shirt and vest ensemble was one of the highlights of his day. He was already unloosening his tie when he stepped through his bedroom door to find Heero Yuy. The Asian pilot had been looking out of the window but turned to regard Quatre as he closed the door behind him. Pausing in his stride, Quatre was taken aback to physically feel the determination burning in Heero's eyes and the fact that the blue gaze held emotion at all. Normally Heero was a very hard person to read, but everything, even his aggressive stance, screamed at Quatre. Whatever Heero had come to say was obviously seriously important to the usually stoic man.

"Heero, are you all right?" Quatre received nothing more than a nod to his concern. It looked as though Heero truly was still a man of few words. That didn't bother Quatre. "Well then, I have to ask you to leave the room so I can change. I don't wear my suits around the house. I could meet you in the library down the hall in a few minutes if you prefer?"

"No." Heero moved so that his back was to Quatre but otherwise refused to elaborate.

_' Okay, calm down. He's not being rude on purpose, he's just being Heero.' _Anger was a hot ball in Quatre's throat but he forcefully swallowed it. It was not an emotion Quatre enjoyed feeling. Ignoring the other man, Quatre stripped down to his underwear. He walked silently to his closet to get his clothes. By the time Quatre was dressed the anger was gone and he was once again concerned. Heero was not truly acting like himself at all.

"Heero, what's this about? First you disrupt my security and upset my employees, a fact I'm not very happy with by the way, and then you refuse to leave my bedroom. You disappear for two years and when you come back you don't act like yourself. I'm worried. Please, tell me what I can do to help you. Obviously you need something..."

"Hire me."

"What?" Quatre was beyond confused at this point. "Hire you for what?"

"Your bodyguard." Heero paused to make sure that the words sank in. Quatre was staring at him as though a second head had appeared on Heero's shoulders. Once he understood that Heero was not going to say anything more and Quatre had indeed heard correctly he pointed out what should be obvious to a former pilot.

"I don't need a bodyguard." Heero simply shrugged so Quatre continued. " If you want a job why don't you go to the Preventers. You know they would love to have you. Besides, aren't you unofficially Miss Relena's bodyguard?"

"I want to work for you." Heero insisted, again getting that determined look in his eyes.

Quatre needed a moment to think. Putting his hand the bridge of his nose and pinching gently he squeezed his eyes shut. _' There aren't any threats against me right now and even if there were I have a whole staff of security, not to mention my own combat training and experience, but...' _His thoughts stopped abruptly as something else occurred to him. _' Relena! This would give her a guaranteed chance to see him. Do I really want that though? Ugh! What am I thinking, of course I do. It would make her so happy and besides, wasn't I just wishing the other day I could take her pain away. Now the solution is not even three feet away from me. It's not as though she would ever even... ' _Tamping that thought down as fast as he could Quatre ignored the slight pain in his heart. _'As long as she's happy. Heero wouldn't be the first employee I have that I don't really need and it's clearly important to him __for some reason. I can help them both with just this one little thing. What kind of friend could I claim to be if I didn't do whatever I could, even if it does hurt...'_

His mind suddenly made up for him, Quatre stood and faced Heero. The other man seemed to wordlessly understand what decision he had come to and remained silent while Quatre outlined the job responsibilities and salary. As they shook hands on the arrangement Quatre could not help praying. _'Allah, help me to be strong in this. I want her to be happy. As long as she is happy, that's all that truly matters, right?' _

"Well, now that things are settled why don't we relax? I've had a long day and dinner should be ready before too long. Would you like a tour of the rooms I most frequently use?"

Being polite was something Quatre could always fall back on. It was automatic. That was definitely a good thing since it allowed Quatre's mind to ponder what reason Heero could possibly have had for requesting a job specifically from him. Something as simple as asking Heero would most likely fail. Heero had always been a minimalist when it came to conversation before but now it was bordering on ridiculous. Quatre would have more luck getting a rock to speak to him. As Quatre led Heero through his favorite rooms he chattered happily but was silently trying to work out the confusing puzzle. After all, if the former pilot of 01 wanted to do something he did it in a direct and efficient manner. The round-a-bout way just was not Heero's style, Duo maybe, Trowa sometimes, but not Heero. That meant that what Heero truly wanted must have something to do with Quatre himself. At least, that was the best Quatre was able to speculatively come up with. It was just as well. He knew that eventually the true reason would be revealed, it was just a matter of time and patience.

Dinner gave Quatre an opportunity to really study his friend. He was a little surprised. Earlier in the bedroom Quatre had been distracted, concerned, and not a little annoyed so he had neglected to take a really good look at Heero, but now the other man was sitting across from him and was the only thing Quatre really had to look at. In between samplings of excellent sukiyaki pork he was treated to barely there bags under Heero's eyes, slightly sallow looking skin and other such almost indiscernible imperfections. Heero was not known for always being immaculate but Quatre had never before seen these small signs of strain in the perfect soldier. No matter what.

_' Perhaps that's what this is about? Maybe Heero is still struggling with how to fit into this new world. In that case working for the Preventers would be a constant reminder of the wars. Working for me Heero can do something he excels at in the company of someone he trusts.' _Quatre entertained that musing for but a moment. _' And maybe I'm a bubble-brain. If Heero couldn't fit in anonymously in the last two years then working for me isn't going to help. We were comrades in arms so I'm going to be a constant reminder of the war as well. Grr...I hope he makes this clear soon. It's almost as aggravating as the fact that with Heero around, Relena is going to be completely focused on him. Which reminds me, should I call her? What if Heero doesn't want to see her? The moment I say something she'll be over here. What if he hurts her again? Have I done the right thing really? Why am I second guessing myself anyway? Even if he does reject her again, I'll be here. I would never...but then she doesn't think of me like that so she would never...ugh! this is stupid. My thoughts are just spinning around in circles. I'm not supposed to see her again until the conference so I'll just take a couple of days to observe Heero and see if he reveals his motivations. Then I'll have a better idea of whether or not to call her ahead of time and let her know. Yeah, that sounds good. It's not dishonorable to try and save the woman you love from hurting...or yourself.'_


	4. Decision

Three more days. He only had three more days before the scheduled conference. Quatre's deadline for figuring out Heero's true motivations was fast approaching with no new information looming on the horizon. The last few days had been emotionally stressful for him since he still could come to no decision as to whether or not he should inform Relena of Heero's presence. It grated against his sensibilities as both a gentleman and a friend to even think of not forewarning her. After all, the woman had been waiting patiently, barely holding the heartbreak in check, for any sign of the man she was so stubbornly in love with for the last two years. Quatre already felt particularly miserable about the fact that he had not contacted her right away, but without knowing the level of Heero's interest Quatre was afraid she would be disappointed yet again. It did not help that his dreams of her reaction should she be caught unawares and the subsequent anger she would direct toward him plagued his mind almost nightly as his grace period of time dwindled. On the other hand, should Heero be indifferent to her feelings yet again Quatre knew he would never be able to forgive himself. Although the situation would not directly be his fault, it would feel like it was. He knew he would not be able to help blaming himself. Every time they managed to make a breakfast outing he would have to see the pain in her eyes, mirrored and magnified a thousandfold in his own heart.

That was not even the half of his internal battle either. Every time Quatre decided to delay contacting her, still unsure of whether it was a good idea or not, he also had to fight his own inner voice. The selfish one that kept whispering to him that he secretly wanted things to be platonic between Heero and Relena. He struggled to keep it from influencing him. It reminded him over and over again that even though Relena would be in pain, he, Quatre, would be there for comfort. A comfort that, in time, would give him the perfect opportunity to sweep Relena off her feet and make her his own. The first time this insidious voice had whispered inside of him Quatre had gasped aloud, completely aghast at himself. Physically cringing, Quatre had tried to silence the voice, mentally insisting that something so malicious could not possibly have come from his gentle and loving soul. It laughed at him for that. There was no escaping, no silencing, and no denying the voice. It was there. It made Quatre sick to think that he could feel so manipulative concerning the woman he loved and one of his close friends. It laughed at him for that too.

Indecision was highly unlike him. Half disgusted with himself, Quatre was glad that his work kept him so busy. When he was able to keep his mind on his work anyway. _' Maybe I should just call her and let her know and let fate control what happens next. I do know one thing, if I don't call her she will be surprised and distracted when she needs to be able to concentrate on this conference. By asking for the complete disbandment of all firearms and mobile suits in favor of non-lethal police issue only armaments the economy has suffered a huge blow. Colonies L1 and L2 may never recover without some viable mass income employment alternative. I'm not even positive that Heero would reject her feelings again. So what am I worrying over this so much for? Maybe if he would just ask, or if I could pick up even the slightest amount of curiosity from him...' _Quatre gave an aggrieved little sigh. His lunch try suddenly disappeared from under his nose and he blinked owlishly for a moment before realizing what had happened. His new bodyguard had apparently mistaken his sigh to be annoyance at the 'offending' tray.

Looking up, Quatre considered Heero's retreating back. He could not complain about the other man's presence. Heero was a remarkably discreet and efficient bodyguard, not that Quatre had not expected that. It was almost scary how well Heero performed his job. There were whole stretches of time that Quatre forgot Heero was even in the room with him and this fact did not owe to Quatre being distracted or busy but Heero himself. The man managed to blend into the scenery while standing in plain sight, so quiet one could not even hear him breathe, looking to all the world like he was taking a nap propped against the wall. Heero would stay like that, motionless, for hours until someone knocked on Quatre's office door or something needed to be taken care of such as the lunch tray. During business meetings with staff or prospective investors Heero would stand slightly to the left and a couple steps behind Quatre but moved with such stealth that Quatre often had to check the urge to turn his head just to make sure Heero was actually there. Not to mention the times Heero really would disappear to check and make sure there were no potential threats in a hotel lobby or restaurant where Quatre was attending one meeting or another only to reappear as unnoticed as he had left. The only reason Quatre could tell Heero had gone at all was he would suddenly feel the absence of Heero's presence. It was like being guarded by a ghost that was visible only when caught at the edge of one's peripheral vision unless one was actively staring straight at it.

Quatre watched as Heero returned from getting rid of the remains of their lunches and took up his normal position against the left wall. Heero crossed his arms, lowered his head and proceeded to look like he was asleep. _'Now or never. This has to stop.'_ Quatre cleared his throat a little nervously before addressing his bodyguard.

"Heero, I need to speak with you...concerning Miss Relena."

Simply opening his eyes to look directly into Quatre's, Heero waited while Quatre gathered his thoughts before continuing. "I expect you know that she's going to be at the upcoming conference in three days. And I expect you know that she's been wondering where you've been these last couple of years. She asks about you often when I see her. You must know how she feels, and I was just wondering if...well, I wanted to be able to call her and let her know that you're back since she's been so worried."

Heero just continued to stare at Quatre, offering no opinion or suggestion. Not understanding what this could mean he waited for something, anything, to come out of the Japanese man's mouth. When nothing did Quatre was forced to explain his desire further.

"I haven't yet because I wasn't sure how you felt about it. You realize she's going to want to see you and she'll probably have some questions. I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position, but I also don't want to just show up at the conference and surprise her. She really has been very worried. So have the rest of us for that matter so...I was just wondering what I should do and whether or not there's anything you'd like to talk to me about."

"You should get back to work."

With that short statement the conversation was apparently done since Heero turned his gaze away from Quatre and resumed his duties. Quatre himself was fighting a noticeable twitch that had developed in his eye from pure annoyance. Not only did Quatre not learn anything to help aid his decision, but he had felt nothing. Absolutely nothing had wafted through the breeze and into his heart to give him a clue as to what Heero was truly feeling. Quite the opposite. Only machines feel nothing. Heero might have been known as the perfect soldier, but he had a heart and the emotions to go with it. He bled and broke bones therefore Heero was definitely human. There was just no way Quatre was going to accept that Heero felt nothing, not even indifference toward Relena. _' He wouldn't have admitted to being or __performed as her unofficial bodyguard if he didn't care one way or another. There's gotta be something there. What happened to him to make him so cold and hard? Something has changed him.' _Quatre experienced a painful squeeze of his soul as he speculated about what horrible thing could have happened since the last time he had seen Heero to cause such a terrible withdrawal of his already introverted friend. Heero might be close-mouthed, but if asked he would usually share some sort of opinion if he had one. Concern clawed sharply at Quatre's mind as he once again gazed at his new bodyguard. _' Wrong, something wrong. He's never been this bad. Allah...'_

The rest of the day was completely uneventful. Heero did not speak to him again and Quatre left him to his silence. His growing concern over Heero was most certainly unwelcome and so would change nothing if brought up again. Quatre's stomach churned with a physical manifestation of his inner anxiety. The short conversation had firmed his belief that should she find out about Heero's presence it would only cause momentary joy followed quickly by lasting pain. Unwilling to subject his love to this until absolutely necessary, Quatre finally came to a decision. He resolved that he would call Relena but not until right before the conference. Quatre would give her a few hours to prepare herself before seeing him and Heero at the conference. Afterwords she would probably want to talk with Heero and Quatre would give them their privacy. This was the most he could do for her, from there it would be up to fate and luck. Quatre refused to acknowledge the voice inside him that, whispering, always whispering, reminded him again that secretly he wanted both fate and luck to be against Relena. It laughed at him.

**a/n: sorry about how long this took. I've been very busy and my internet was on the fritz. I'm posting it as soon as possible. sorry again.**


	5. Unexpected

Today was nice and sunny which matched Quatre's mood wonderfully. He still felt anxious about the conference tomorrow and what Relena's reaction would be to his new bodyguard, but with a plan of action in place Quatre could not bring himself to feel gloomy. Things would either work out or they would not and worrying about it would not help. Not bothering to cover up his good mood, Quatre was whistling an aimlessly upbeat tune as he strolled into his office. Apparently good moods were catching as the scowl on his personal assistant's face transformed into a bemused smile when she caught sight of him. Quatre smiled back at her and sat. He could see Heero lean against the wall out of the corner of his eye as Quatre picked up his cup of tea and prepared for a new day. Things would be very busy as the final preparations for the conference took place and Quatre was looking forward to the satisfaction it would bring. It was the same kind of satisfaction he used to feel after a particularly tough battle that he and his Maguanac core had all managed to survive. A job well done and a victory well deserved. Quatre looked over the paperwork on his desk and sipped his tea as his assistant went down the list of his schedule for the day. The daily reading was only a formality since Quatre himself always made sure to know exactly what was expected of him. Therefore he almost missed the addition to his schedule. His absent mind snapped back to full attention, the paperwork on his desk completely forgotten.

"Excuse me, what was that?" Quatre asked, a dumbfounded expression on his face. His personal assistant looked at him somewhat shamefaced before repeating herself.

"The Vice Foreign Minister, she's scheduled to speak with you in about five minutes." Quatre just stared, unblinking, and his assistant explained herself. "She called this morning and asked for an appointment. A business proposal she wanted to run by you before the conference. I didn't think you'd mind since you two see each other often. I couldn't free your schedule, but told her she could come in for a little bit. Did I misstep myself? ...Mr. Winner?"

Quatre's eyes had glazed over with a slightly panicked look before he snapped himself back to reality. Assuring his assistant that she had done nothing wrong, Quatre maneuvered her to the door as quickly and tactfully as he could. Once it was shut and he was alone again he allowed himself to panic.

_"Miss Relena is coming here? Allah, what am I supposed to do? I wasn't going to call her 'till tomorrow. She's gonna be so angry with me."_ Quatre stopped pacing to pull slightly at his hair. "What do I do now?"

"Sit down and wait for her. Unless you'd like me to send her away?"

Quatre froze in place at the sound of Heero's voice. He had completely forgotten the other man was there. Composing himself, at least on the outside, Quatre turned to the dark-haired man leaning oh so casually against his office wall and smiled. It was nothing more than a facade.

"No that's ok. I'm just not really prepared to see her, but it's fine. It's no bother." He knew he was babbling and forced himself to stop. Heero was looking at him with an odd light in the prussian depths that made Quatre feel a little like a cornered mouse. Turning his back on his bodyguard, Quatre made his way stiffly to his desk and sat. At least the teacup did not shake as he picked it up. He gulped a mouthful and immediately felt just a bit calmer, or his body did. Quatre's mind was still in an uproar but one thought shone brightly through everything else. _"This is going to be a disaster."_

The door opened just then to admit Relena. Quatre's breath caught in his throat as he watched her. _"Beautiful..." _She was stunning in a light green top and cream skirt. A short cream business jacket draped on her with her honeyed locked pulled back at the nape of her neck. She held a manilla folder in her hand, open as she perused the contents. Then she looked up at him and smiled. Quatre could only manage a weak smile in return that quickly faded when she faltered and came to a stop halfway through the room. The eyes that had been looking at him were suddenly wide and staring at Heero. Turmoil. Quatre felt it reflected in his own heart as he watched. Her smile faltered just as his had for the tiniest moment before she turned confused and disbelieving eyes to him. The question in their depths was clear.

"Quatre?" It was a tone she used in meetings when her true feelings were too volatile to show. A tone that she had never used with him before. Quatre felt the hurt go through him quick, sharp, damning. He deserved that.

"I...I was going to call you." He swallowed nervously and knew that it was a feeble excuse at best. The truth, maybe, but feeble all the same. The pain was there, in her eyes, and he had put it there. _' Relena forgive me, I was trying to protect you from this.' _

The silence was very intense. Quatre was painfully aware of the emotions swirling inside of the quiet young woman and as painfully unaware of anything from Heero. The pilot turned personal bodyguard appeared completely unruffled. As though Relena were any woman who had turned up in Quatre's office. The only difference was his eyes were open, his intense stare directed at Relena, but there was no sign of discomfort. There was also no sign of relief at seeing her. There was nothing at all. Quatre held his breath. The silence had stretched for several minutes now, the tension building until Quatre felt he would break. When Relena finally did speak the sound of her voice was like a gunshot in his ears.

"I'm glad to see you looking so well, Heero." She paused but Heero said nothing. Quatre glared daggers at him but wiped the hostility from his eyes quickly. Relena was turning back to him. "I have a business proposal that I wanted to go over with you, but I know how busy you are today so I'll just leave it."

The message was clear. Relena needed to escape before she did or said something she would regret. Anyone else might have thought she was perfectly composed. They would not have noticed the way her legs trembled as she walked, the way her soft smile did not reach her eyes or the way her body leaned slightly away from Heero as she passed him. Relena crossed the rest of the room and held the folder out to Quatre. He took it automatically, his eyes never leaving her face but she refused to meet his gaze. This close to her, Quatre could hear Relena's fluttery breaths. He could practically hear her heart beating with as focused on her he was. He could see and feel every little emotion rolling through her. _' It's slipping away. It's all slipping away. She doesn't trust me anymore. Why! Why didn't I just call her? This would have happened anyway, why did I insist to myself that I had to protect her? A protection she never asked for. Never would have asked for. All she's ever asked for is Heero, and when it was in my power to give I couldn't. I...couldn't. Allah what have I done?'_

She was walking away. Quatre snapped out of his stupor long enough to round his desk. He caught up with her just as she reached the door. He had no right, but Quatre grabbed her lightly around one wrist. Relena was pulled to a stop but did not turn to face him.

"Relena, I'm..."

"Don't. Just don't. I'll see you tomorrow, ok? I'm really very busy..."

The tears were there, trembling at the edge of her voice. Quatre winced but released her. He watched as Relena walked away, a fake smile stretching her lips and a false cheer in her voice as she greeted those around her. He watched until she turned the corner heading for the elevator. When she was gone Quatre closed his door quietly, the day dimming to darkness in his mind. His breath whooshed from him in an agonized sigh. One hand was still on the knob of the door, as though by not releasing it he did not have to admit that the last few minutes were real. As long as he held on to the door it was all a nightmare. In reality Relena was still happy with him. They were still very close friends. He had done nothing to make her distrust him on such a deep level. Heero had not come back only to throw Relena's emotions and Quatre's life into an uproar. _'Right?'_

Wrong. Heero cleared his throat at that point in time startling Quatre and making the blonde drop his hand. The door had been released and all of this was horribly real. Quatre turned slowly and regarded Heero out of glassy eyes. The other man was considering Quatre with that odd light again. It was enough to snap Quatre into the present with clarity. He returned to his desk and did his best to completely ignore Relena's folder. Heero was still looking at him, his scrutiny was making Quatre feel itchy. Wishing he were alone and unable to stifle a growing sense of aggravation Quatre simply stared back. He was damned if he was going to explain anything to Heero. As far as he was concerned a pit could open and swallow Heero and Quatre would cheer right now. A brow quirked at him, like Heero had been privy to his thoughts, and prompted Quatre to sigh. His hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as Quatre desperately tried to get his emotions under control. It was not Heero's fault that Relena was hopelessly in love with him and therefore blind to Quatre's own hopelessness when it came to her. It was not Heero's fault that Quatre had not called Relena in the first place out of some misguided sense of propriety. _'Hindsight really is 20/20. Damn...'_

His intercom buzzed. "Your next appointment is here, sir."

"Give me five." He would need it to make sure his personal feelings were completely subdued. _'I have a business to run. A conference schedule to finalize and approve. Love, and the lack of anything coming from it but pain, will have to wait.'_ Another great sigh and Quatre felt like he was as good as he would get for the moment. He could do this. Lose himself in the work. His breakdown could wait. Everything personal always waited. Quatre was a professional.

By the time his door opened and his next appointment waltzed in Quatre was calm, poised and smiling. His hand was firm when shook and his words smooth. If he noticed Heero's occasional thoughtful looks, Quatre did not show it. If he noticed the way his hands and eyes avoided the folder on his desk as though it contained the plague, Quatre did not show it. If his behavior was in any way odd or forced, the people who interacted with him did not mention it. It seemed like a normal day and a normal Quatre to everyone except he and Heero and neither of them so much as said a thing about it. The day passed, the final arrangements made, the ride home endured in typical silence. It was not until Quatre was settled in his home office that Heero reacted in any way to Relena's visit that morning. Of all the ways Quatre would have expected though, Heero caught him off guard. The man casually handed over Relena's business proposal and pinned Quatre to his chair with the same burning, determined gaze Quatre had seen the first night Heero had come to him demanding a job.

"I have something to talk to you about now."

**a/n: I really am sorry about how long this took to get out. There was a bit of drama happening and this fic was the last thing on my mind. I'm getting back to it now though so I'll hopefully have the next chap out very soon. **


	6. Heero's Need

_'Great. Just great. Now he wants to talk? Now, when all I want is for him to go away and leave me alone to wallow in my own misery, now he wants to tell me what he should have just told me when I asked days ago? Beautiful.' _Today had started so nicely too. He'd been in a wonderful mood, and then, blah. Quatre was still being pinned to his chair by Heero's gaze. The other man must be ignoring the angry set of Quatre's eyes as he continued without so much as an affirmative nod.

" I was away dealing with...personal things. I came back to deal with the last of them, but I need your help. Relena...she needs to stop. I can't give her what she needs. You can."

Quatre's stomach sank making him feel slightly nauseated. _'This is __not__ happening. He's not going to ask me to. Please, don't ask me to...she doesn't even like me...Allah...Help!'_

Quatre's brain was panicking and refused to even think coherently. He was unsure if he was going to be able to handle any more drama today. Relena was already angry with him. Now Heero was going to put him in a rough spot. Not that Quatre had not wanted to be in this position before, one where he could confidently and without guilt court Relena, but this was just...wrong. It was one thing for Heero to basically say that there would never be anything between him and Relena, and quite another for him to suggest that Quatre offer himself as a substitute.

" You're in love with her."

The simple statement out of Heero's mouth was nowhere near a question. Quatre's heart skipped a painful beat. _'Is it really that obvious? Or just to someone as observant as Heero? Doomed. I'm doomed.' _Heero was now looking at Quatre expectantly. Without giving himself time to think, he said the first thing his spluttering mind came up with.

"You don't really think she'll just give up on you. She's been in love with you since the war."

"I know." Heero closed his eyes for a brief moment. Quatre tried to read his face and emotions but Heero was a blank wall, as usual. Frustrating. "I can't give her what she needs. I'm not right for her. You are. You're in love with her."

Quatre was beginning to melt. He had been at the center of an emotional firestorm for so long now. Melting was simply inevitable. Heero really was asking him to offer himself to Relena. On top of that, he expected Relena to agree as though she had only been pretending to love Heero. The man was frustrating in more ways than one. Quatre's emotions were completely out of control at this point, leaving him feeling drained as the world took on a surreal and thankfully numbing quality. It felt as though this were a dream, or possibly a temporary jaunt through insanity. Odd, the last time this had happened Quatre had been a raving madman. Now, he was so full of things, melty, numbing things, it was almost too easy to speak calmly.

"Repeating yourself won't change things. Welcome to my reality. If she hasn't given up on you in the last few years, she's not going to. Why do you think I haven't tried? Don't you think I would have if I thought there was any chance at all. You're right. I do love her. It's painful and stupid and futile."

Blessedly silent for the moment, Heero's eyes gained a glazed look as he thought over what Quatre had said. A tension headache was circulating behind Quatre's eyes and he brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. The word futile was pulsing around in his mind. It was a good word. It perfectly described his situation in every way. It was futile to love Relena for she loved another. It was futile to reason with Heero for the man had boundless determination and an amazing ability to conquer the improbable. It was futile for Quatre to hope that he would not give in to Heero's request for it this was to be his only chance he had to take it. It was all futile. Quatre was supposed to be a gentleman and a reliable friend and yet, with an opportunity like this, he knew that no matter how wrong the idea was, how futile, how painful, if he did not at least try he would regret it.

Heero had been silent for several minutes now. Long enough that the nice numbing feeling was beginning to creep away from Quatre. Anger, hope and a lot of shame was replacing it. Finally raising his eyes once again, Quatre was startled to find himself alone. Like a whisper in the night, Heero was gone. Not a sound had betrayed him. Truly alone since this whole mess had begun, it did not enter into Quatre's mind to wonder or worry. All he could be was thankful for some time alone to sort out the bedlam his personal life had become. A faint note of loss sounded in Quatre's soul, an opportunity gone, but for the whole Quatre was extremely grateful he had not given into temptation. No doubt Heero would be back, driven by the determined light Quatre had seen in the other ex-pilot's eyes, but for now Quatre was intact as a gentleman. Maybe not as a friend considering that Relena was extremely upset with him, but as a gentleman. Quatre hoped that a heartfelt apology, a nice gift and a few days of space between them after the conference would give Relena plenty of time to sort out her own feelings.. Once he had explained his reasons to her and she had seen he was still trustworthy their friendship would be restored and Quatre would be able to go back to silently pining for her. He was confident that in a calmer state of mind he would be able to resist the enticing suggestion Heero was implanting in his brain as a true friend and gentleman should. As for the missed opportunity, Quatre would wonder and almost certainly regret, but he would simply have to have faith that some day Relena would let go of Heero. With Heero as his acting bodyguard maybe his chance would come sooner rather than later since it would give Relena more exposure to Heero than she would have had otherwise. The last two years were a good example. As his bodyguard, Heero would have no choice but to be around her once things between Quatre and Relena went back to normal. There was not any threat that Heero would leave after all. The very determination that drove him to seek Quatre out for help would prevent him from leaving until his personal self-imposed mission was either achieved or failed.

Realizing his train of thought, Quatre chuckled humorlessly to himself. _' It's a good thing I have a lot of patience and a lot of experience playing the waiting game. Now that I've settled my own mind somewhat I guess I should see about that proposal. It must be important if she wanted me to see it before the conference tomorrow. Maybe I can give her a call once I've looked it over? Perhaps she's had enough time to bring herself to speak to me...' _

Quatre lost himself in the familiarity of work. If only he knew what Heero had left to do and where the other was Quatre would have been sorely tempted to drink himself to a stupor. Truthfully he should have expected, or at least suspected what Heero was up to at that moment. After all, Heero's efficiency on a mission was legendary.

-oOoOo-

The hotel clerk was less than helpful. Heero scowled at the man and waited through the recitation of hotel policy and security as applied to important government officials. It was much easier to simply rent a room himself for the night and use that as a base to hack into the hotel's second rate system to find Relena's room number. Getting her alone to speak privately would be a bit harder though. Despite his words, despite his actions, he did care enough to keep this from being anything even remotely considered public. It was not his usual way, but perhaps a phone call warning her that he was coming to see her would give Relena time to excuse whatever assistants were with her. As he dialed her the number for her hotel suite, Heero stared blankly at the wall. She had no doubt had a rough day as she was playing a much bigger role than Quatre in the upcoming talks and he had seen how busy Quatre had been. The only regret he allowed himself as he heard a click and then her voice over the phone was that he was about to make her night rough as well.

**a/n: Reviews, flaming ****or otherwise, would be nice...I know authors say that a lot but its because they really do help inspire us and keep us writing. So...please?**


	7. Business

Rubbing his bleary eyes, Quatre sat back in his chair and idly glanced at the clock. It was late, or rather early in the morning but he had finally finished going over his companies figures and assets. _' It's doable. Winner Enterprises will suffer small profit losses for a fiscal year or two, but the turn around in economy and moral will be worth the slight hit. Convincing the shareholders and investors shouldn't be much of a problem either as long as I take special care to outline future profits and investments that this proposal will create. Partnering with other influential companies, Dorothy's holdings in particular, won't hurt when it comes time either. I wonder if Relena has contacted anyone else with this yet? Dorothy, possibly, but probably no one else. She didn't specifically mention that I was the first to see it, but considering how much it would help at the conference and that she hadn't mentioned it before I kinda get the feeling. Hmm...' _Quatre glanced at the clock again. It was too late to call Relena.

Her proposal had surprised him considering that he had the same concerns but had not voiced them. Complete arms disbandment left a big hole in the economy. As much as Quatre hated it, war, or rather violence in general, was a big business industry. By completely eliminating the jobs in this business millions would be out of work with no other income readily available. Relena was proposing to create employment opportunities through local improvement labor. By restoring the damages to areas created by the wars and focusing on the education and proper housing for the multiple orphans roaming about, she was hoping that not only could they restore the economy but boost the general morale of populations hit the hardest by the fighting. There would be new jobs open in child care fields, construction, and several others. It would be almost like creating a whole community from the ground up in some places on earth and in the colonies. Quatre greatly approved. The problem was that a lot of the workers whose jobs were being eliminated were not qualified to do anything else and would therefore have to be retrained and possibly relocated. That was where the fiscal hit would come in. The proposal was asking willing companies and businessmen to fund project materials and costs, either outright or at a significant discount, and therefore profits would suffer. For himself, Quatre did not mind the hit. His company was more than able to completely donate whatever would be expected of him. The problem was that most people who were rich were more concerned with acquiring more wealth than doing charity work, even if it could be proven that profits would be forthcoming. With Winner Enterprises on board, Relena would have an easier time getting this proposal to pass and other companies to join in. Quatre hoped his support would prove helpful and was already thinking of statements he could make to the press if Relena decided to begin laying the groundwork for her proposal at the conference. It only made sense since the two were intertwined.

Quatre hid a large yawn behind his hand and stood. He stretched his entire body, stiff from sitting in his chair the past few hours, and made sure all his papers were in order before flicking off the light. His mind wandered as he made his way slowly to his bedroom. Heero was still missing and Quatre took a small moment to wonder as he climbed into bed but the late hour, emotional storm and hard work all combined to drag him quickly into a sleepy daze. Images of Relena danced behind his eyes as Quatre slowly drifted off, her wearing the cream sundress that had been his favorite last spring, the smile that brightened her face whenever he played the goof just to make her laugh, the way her hands fidgeted nervously when she was worrying over something in a conversation with him. He had but a moment to smile to himself before true sleep overtook him completely.

-oOoOo-

Morning came much too quickly for Quatre, but that was the price of working late and this was not his first experience with it. Therefore when Heero shook him roughly awake and informed him that they were thirty minutes behind schedule Quatre was hardly surprised. Adrenaline and anticipation mixed to give the day an excited air as he quickly showered, dressed and ate breakfast. Having grabbed Relena's proposal before leaving his house, Quatre used the car ride to make sure the late night had no effect on his memory and to write down his impressions. Relena would want his feedback and with everything going on, both personally and professionally, he was unsure whether he would get to tell her in person.

The conference was scheduled to begin at 1 o'clock and was only an hour away. It was also expected to last at least three days in order to have enough time for everyone to voice and explain their opinions, let alone vote on the issues being discussed. _' Glad I live here. I'd hate to have to be one of the guests who lived on Earth and needed to fly here. The spaceport and car rental agencies would be a nightmare even with good planning.' _Over the three days of conference Quatre and Relena had both carved out time in their schedules to get together. With the recent upheaval he was almost certain she would want some time away from him. Pain flared in his breast at the thought. An image of her physically walking away from him popped into his mind causing more pain but Quatre took a deep breath and willed it away. _' If she needs time, then time is what she gets. I have to remember that she's in pain too. I'll try, but if she pushes me away I'll have to respect that...no matter how much I don't want to.' _

"Did Miss Relena's assistant confirm our plans to meet at the restaurant for lunch before beginning?" Quatre turned his eyes toward his personal assistant who was currently glaring at Heero. She seemed to not have heard him which forced Quatre to repeat himself, all the time wondering what exactly Heero had done to upset the normally pleasant woman.

"Actually, he did call but said that something had come up and the Vice Foreign Minister would no longer be able to join you. He tendered her apologies but made no other gestures. It's quite odd."

Nodding his head, Quatre tried to hold his feelings in check but could not. Disappointment and hurt flooded his heart. _' I have to respect it. I have to give her time. I have to be patient. I have to respect it. I have to give her time. I have to patient. I have to...' _It was a mantra in his head. Repeating over and over. After a few minutes he relaxed and felt the hurt recede. It did not disappear, but became a slight ache rather than an actual pain. He could do this, he could get through it, even if it meant repeating those words to himself a thousand times a day. Quatre was good at waiting. Quatre was good at managing pain. Quatre was good at putting personal things aside. _' It's so unfair. If only I could I'd swoop in and steal her away somewhere. Then we could talk and get this all sorted out from start to finish with no interruptions. We wait on the world constantly, why can't the world wait on us for once?' _

"He did ask about the business proposal she left with you yesterday but I didn't know what to tell him except that I'd call him back and let him know what you're plans were, Mr. Winner. If you'd care to say."

Quatre snapped himself out of the useless and depressingly impossible thought of stealing Relena and began to explain the gist of the proposal and his general plan of what he was going to do about it. The excitement he had felt earlier crept slowly back into his voice as he spoke of Relena's outline until Quatre was so animated he could not contain himself. He began to speak with hand gestures and was sitting on the edge of his seat. From the smile on his assistant's face Quatre could tell she approved. So excited at the prospect of positive change, Quatre had nearly begun to babble. Raising her hand in the universal stop gesture, his assistant hurriedly called Relena's just as the limousine pulled up to the hotel Quatre would be staying in. He turned his mind back to business once again as he checked in, Heero an ever present shadow at his side.

The ride in the elevator was a little cramped, he was after all not the only conference guest using this hotel, and Quatre could barely contain himself. Sitting behind a desk was most of his job so moments when he was able to feel like he was in action, actively doing something, were precious and rare. He truly regretted the timing of Heero's arrival since it would prevent him from the even more precious and rare time he would have spent with Relena. He stifled the urge to glare at his companion and had to remind himself, again, that if he was patient things would smooth out. Instead Quatre decided to focus on the feel of his muscles, the fact that they were in motion instead of stationary, and the excitement of the coming conference. His hurt and confused feelings plagued him from the back of his mind though. Knowing that he would never truly be rid of them until he had made things up to Relena only made Quatre more resolved to enjoy himself. _' It's so hard to be mature and accept this with grace when I want so badly to go to her. To hold and reassure her that if she'd just...I'd always be there for her. Oh, Relena... At least Heero hasn't tried to press me about our conversation yesterday. Speaking of...'_

They had reached his suite. Quatre dismissed his assistant with a word of thanks and a promise to see her at the conference. He waited patiently as she retired. Once she was fully out of sight, Quatre slipped his key-card from his pocket and turned to half face Heero. The other man had not said a word since that morning when he had awoken Quatre. Now that his mind had time to process everything that could mean Quatre was curious. Being alone with the Asian man meant Quatre may have to hear more on Heero's reasoning concerning being a substitute recipient of Relena's heart. Prepared for such a thing, steeled against it, Quatre quirked an eyebrow and in his driest friendly tone spoke.

"Not that I'm not grateful for the reprieve, but where did you disappear to last night?" He slipped the card through the electronic reader and waited for the door to click.

"To make Relena understand."

Quatre froze. He had not really expected an answer. He was so taken off guard that it took a few seconds for Heero's words to register. Dread filled his heart and suspicion his eyes. The door swung open smoothly and without sound, but his throat was strangled. In that moment, Quatre could barely manage a choked, horrified whisper. " What? Allah be merciful, what have you done?"

**a/n: if this chapter seems like it doesn't really belong that is on purpose. I wanted a "filler" chapter to reconnect with Quatre the businessman and to remind people he's intelligent, confident, successful, and has an inner strength he can call upon to keep his priorities straight. He's just an angsty ball of nerves when it comes to Relena and his feelings for her. He's in love so its excusable, but even though its the nerves we are seeing most in this fic, it's not all of who Quatre is. Just a reminder. Reviews would be ****nice. Would it be pathetic to admit that I check my email obsessively the day after I post a chapter to see if I got reviews? Yes, they mean that much to me.**


	8. Confession

The heartbreak was palpable. Maybe not to everyone, but to Quatre, so attuned to Relena in the first place, it was like a blanket smothering her, weighing her down. He watched her carefully, his ears listening to whichever speaker was expressing their views but his mind focused solely on her. The dark shadows under her eyes, not quite covered by make-up, the tightness of her lips, the absolute refusal to even glance in his direction thereby avoiding seeing Heero who sat at his side. It all screamed at him, his soul begging him to go to her, hold her, comfort her and the absolute certainty that she would refuse him. Quatre could feel it from where he sat two rows back and fourteen seats to her left. His heart ached for her, for her pain, for her love, for _her_.

After Heero's declaration and subsequent refusal to elaborate Quatre had nearly been frantic. His mind had raced so much faster than his feet, his heart pumping hard as he forced himself to walk calmly to his personal assistant's room and knock softly. The woman had been working with him for over two years now and could tell immediately that something was wrong. Again glaring at Heero, though Quatre was oblivious, she had sternly ordered that Heero guard the door and promptly shut it in the other man's face. Quatre's mind was working so fast that he had to backtrack several times in order to coherently and calmly request she contact Relena and ask for an emergency meeting. Relena had, of course, refused and that made Quatre fear all the worse for whatever Heero had said. Not knowing where she was did not make fighting the insistent nagging of his being that he find her _right now_ and make things right even if he had to grovel on his hands and knees any easier.

Miss Konly had entertained thoughts of slowly torturing Mr. Yuy while attending to Mr. Winner. She had no idea what exactly was wrong, but was certain it had to do with the Vice Foreign Minister and was all Mr. Yuy's fault. Instead of asking for any details, she focused instead on wordlessly soothing Mr. Winner with hot tea, a spicy chicken soup for lunch since he obviously was in no shape to make his reservation, and efficient silence. When the time came to leave she calmly picked up her briefcase and walked ahead of Mr. Winner to the door. He was still silent but the dead and fearful look of his eyes was gone. She had suspicions that his smile and cheery expression was a complete facade but was much too professional to mention it. Glaring once again at Heero, Ms. Konly waited for both men to precede her before she loyally, and gleefully resumed glaring smoking holes into Mr. Yuy's back.

It was a coincidence that Quatre was now pondering some of the same exact ideas of horrible vengeance he could visit upon Heero as Ms. Konly had earlier. Given his experience with war and his training he was much more capable than she of acting on any of them. _' Like I would. I couldn't bring myself to do any of these, even now. This would have happened at some point, but what horrible timing. Heero...you bastard.' _ For once Quatre wished he was a more violent person. He still did not know exactly what Heero had said, but he did not need to. Quatre did not give a damn whether or not she wanted to see him. When the conference broke for dinner at 6 o'clock he was going to speak with her and she _would_ speak with him. This was going to be cleared up, at least on his end. Not only that, but if Heero was going to be a downright bastard then he could find his ass another job. Quatre no longer cared how much pain it caused him, how much it set back his hope to court Relena himself, he was not going to stand by and watch Heero toy with her affections like this. Gentleman or no, friend or no, the woman he loved was in pain and he _would_ do whatever it took to end it.

Anger continued to color his thoughts a bright red as he waited, outwardly patient, for the scheduled break. As soon as the last speaker finished he was up out of his seat and heading in Relena's direction. When Quatre noticed Heero silently walking beside him the urge to simply punch Heero was rejected in favor of ordering the man to wait in the hotel suite for him. No expression showed itself, no emotion could be felt, but Heero wisely obeyed. He melted away from Quatre's presence. Quatre caught up with Relena in the outside hall just as she was about to step into an elevator. Going whatever way she was, Quatre grasped her arm and stepped in behind her. She stiffened but did not cause a scene. _' Probably thinks I'm Heero...' _Quatre thought bitterly.

They walked in tandem, Quatre still out of her view, not speaking until they reached the sidewalk. Relena finally turned and saw that it was the blonde hair of Quatre and not the unruly brown of Heero over her shoulder. He saw her eyes widen in shock as her body stilled. Ruthlessly he continued past her, now pulling her with him and felt a little of his anger drain as Relena complied. Forgoing either of their hired car services he found a cab two blocks away. The cabbie said nothing as Quatre, holding Relena's hand, gently guided Relena into the vehicle and calmly, but with an uncharacteristic tenseness, gave the address of a nice dining establishment across town. It was about this time that his phone, and hers, began to ring but he ignored the device other than to turn it off. When Relena reached for hers and did the same yet more anger drained away. Even more when she kept hold of his hand. Though she was silent, as was Quatre, they both relaxed by small degrees as the ride continued. By the time the cab had deposited them most of Quatre's anger was bled away. Determination to straighten things out blazed inside of him instead along with weariness. He realized that he should have done this days ago, before things had gotten this bad, but he would not apologize just yet.

The staff was friendly, efficient and silent which suited Quatre perfectly right now. He and Relena were led to a fairly secluded table. Wanting privacy they both silently agreed to wait until after they had ordered to begin. Quatre simply ordered the fist thing his eyes saw from the menu and then suddenly he and Relena were alone. Ash filled his mouth as he pondered where to start. Thankfully Relena already knew.

"So, did you know Heero was going to come back? Did you know he was going to explain to me in that infuriating way of his that I was behaving like an obsessed puppy and needed to grow up and move on? Did you know all this time that he didn't love me? Or were you just hoping?"

His mouth dropped open. That was a hell of a start to this conversation and left Quatre feeling speechless. Relena was always direct but her tone...it seemed that while Quatre had been letting go of his anger Relena had been shaping hers. Tempered determination met bitter reality in her voice and conveyed nothing but contempt. Whether it was contempt for him or for her situation Quatre could not tell, but this was wrong. The lead had gotten away from him and his own thoughts on what he was going to say to her shriveled and died. Instead he found himself simply answering her, his tone a calm reassurance mixed with concern and just a dash of his own pain.

"No, I didn't know. None of us did. How could you think so low of me? I've been there for you whenever you needed or wanted in the last two years. I know I didn't call right away when he showed up in my home, but I was trying to keep you from this. From hurting. I didn't know, but I suspected he didn't feel...like you did. Don't you think I would have said something? I don't like seeing you in this kind of pain. Relena..."

Quatre trailed off as the waitress brought their dinners to the table. He stared at Relena, his eyes sad, as she thought over what he had said. She took a bite of whatever it was on her plate and chewed slowly. Finally she continued.

"You know, when I saw him in your office I felt betrayed. I actually thought I might have been hallucinating until I saw the look on your face. Then, last night, when he came to me I thought he was finally going to tell me he'd come back to be with me. After all, I'd waited so patiently..." Here she gave a bitter laugh. It seemed to slap Quatre across the face with the hurt laced through it. " He did tell me how he felt. I guess I should be grateful. I tried to blame you...even though I knew you had nothing to do with it. You're too good a friend, too nice a guy, I thought. And then Heero told me something else. Is it true? Are you in love with me?"

_' I'm gonna kill him. He's a dead man. HE HAD NO RIGHT! ' _Quatre gritted his teeth to keep from growling audibly instead of only in his head. Relena was still looking at him for an answer. Her eyes, her face, her heart, it was all like a glass wall. Quatre could see her, but nothing of what she was expecting from him. _' I owe her the truth. This isn't how I wanted her to find out but...'_ Quatre squared his shoulders, looked Relena dead in the face and let go of his masks. The businessman, the gentleman, the fool, the friend, he stripped them all away until what remained was simply him. A man, in love with a woman, her. He could feel the emotions swelling inside of him. He could feel them burning in his eyes for all the world to see. Calling on all of his inner strength and courage, Quatre answered her question.

"Yes." She gave a little gasp. Her head pulled back a little in shock. He continued. "I love you. Yes, I'd hoped that you would get over Heero and look at me, really see me and what I want so desperately to offer you, but not like this Relena. Never like this. Never with such pain."

It was hard being brave. His heart was pounding, loud enough he wondered how everyone around them could not hear it. Relena sat, her eyes wide, her dinner forgotten, staring at him. He continued to meet her gaze. It roamed over his face, his body, his eyes again and again, searching. What Relena was looking for Quatre had no idea, but he waited. In agony he waited as the minutes ticked by and the silent search continued. Relena finally dropped her gaze and Quatre let out an anxious breath he had been holding without knowing it. She was nervous now. Picking at what looked like a pasta of some kind on her plate with her fork, Relena was suddenly uncertain. Quatre would have said something more, but he realized with a start that all his cards were laid out on the table. It was her move. He feverishly wished to hear what her own feelings were for him but he did not want to push or pry. When she spoke again, Quatre wanted it to be because Relena felt comfortable with whatever she was to say. He wanted her to be comfortable with him. Anxiety poked at him, but Quatre held it ruthlessly back, waiting as calmly as he could while Relena took it all in, hoping that she was not going to break his heart and yet expecting it.

"How long?"

The words were so soft Quatre barely heard them. He responded automatically, with as much sincerity as he could convey through voice alone. "Since the Rosenheim ball. That was when I recognized what it was I'd been feeling for quite a while before that. I knew how you felt about Heero. Everyone does. I...didn't want to lose your friendship so I didn't say anything. In the beginning I kind of hoped it would fade...then I didn't want it to anymore. It hurt sometimes, but I love you. Love is never wrong so I couldn't bring myself to regret it. I still don't."

"Quatre..." She said his name like a desperate prayer; softly, wonderingly, painfully. "I'm sorry."


	9. Being Together

"I'm so sorry." Relena brought her eyes to meet his again. Her orbs were clouded by confusion and apology. "I feel like I should have noticed you felt that way. Things might have been easier on both of us. Please, forgive me?"

Struggling with his disappointment, trying to keep his heart from sinking into the pit of his stomach, Quatre was unsure what to do or say next. She waited for him to say something, anything, but all he could manage was a nod of his head. _'Of course you're forgiven Relena. It was never you're fault. Mine, all mine. I knew this wouldn't end any other way. I still don't regret it.'_

"I still don't regret it." Quatre repeated his thoughts in a low voice to himself but Relena heard anyway. Her next words stunned him.

"Good because I've been thinking, couldn't help but think about it all last night, and..." Here she paused. Her hands were doing a nervous fidget. Quatre began to hold his breath. "Well, what Heero said...about being obsessed...I can't tell, but I'm afraid he might be right. I've felt myself to be in love with him so long, would I even recognize if I wasn't anymore? What if I'm just clinging to the thought I love him simply because I did as a girl? What do I really know about him, what can I, when he's never around? I'm just so confused."

Relena huffed out a large breath, flustered and suddenly frustrated. The tiny spark of hope Quatre had been harboring all this time suddenly blazed brilliantly to life. _'Is she saying what I think she's saying? Is it wrong of me to want her to be? I have to know, have to know.'_ With some difficulty, Quatre moderated his voice to show nothing of the hope roaring through him. Forcing himself to seem calm and almost nonchalant, as though his soul was not trying to burst from him and soar about the room in happiness, Quatre pried.

"What are you saying, Relena?"

"I'm saying that I'm confused and need some more time to think about this, but...I think I'd like to try, maybe, being with you? I'm not sure it's fair to do this to you, considering how we both feel, and I can't promise you anything, but I think it's important for both of us that we try. If that's ok with you?"

Quatre blinked. _' Ok with me? OK WITH ME? Of course it's ok with me. I've been waiting so long to show you...Allah...Calm down Quatre. Smooth, you gotta be smooth. She's still struggling with her feelings for Heero. She hasn't promised you anything. Smooth. Don't scare her away. Slow...get rid of the nerves. Say something, she's waiting. SAY SOMETHING!' _His throat was suddenly parched. Using this to give himself a moment more, Quatre mastered his body to move slow, his voice to be calm, made himself act like he had been the last few months. Showing Relena that he loved her would not change the way he behaved, he would just have to be careful to keep the intensity level down. Quatre would no longer have to suppress the urge to send her flowers, or call her for no particular reason, but these things would have to come slowly. Confidence welled inside of him and he was able to meet Relena's gaze with affection and understanding. He saw her blink slowly as she registered the slightly warmer tone of his eyes and his body language. Smiling, Quatre reached slightly for her hand and waited patiently for her to make the decision. That would be important in this. She would need to be the leader in this for a little while for her own piece of mind. He could still feel her confusion and a slight hesitance that came from her own doubts but to his delight she reached out and placed her hand in his. He squeezed it lightly and gave her what she had been waiting to hear.

"I'd love to. The conference will keep us both busy not to mention our jobs, so take what time you need, but I hope you'll still meet me like we've arranged." Quatre waited for her confirmation and upon receiving a positive shake of her head continued. "Excellent. So, did you intend to unveil your proposal here at the conference? You're going to need a good project name if you do. In addition, if that was your plan I could probably find the time to come up with a formal pledge of intention regarding Winner Enterprises' endorsement and participation."

She blinked, once, slowly. _We're both doing a lot of that, huh.' _Clearly caught off guard by the subject change it took Relena a moment to shift mental gears but once done she smiled and relaxed. They spent the remainder of their time discussing project names, cost and labor projections, possible future profit returns and any other aspect of her proposal Quatre could think of a question for. It was good to see her happy and smiling around him again. _' Look at us. Things are so easy between us. This is how things should have been all along. Please, please, please, PLEASE don't let this be temporary.'_

-oOoOo-

Following the cab had been difficult but not extremely so. Heero watched as Quatre put Relena back at ease without any effort at all after their tense conversation. They truly were well suited to one another. She seemed happy again, excitement in her eyes at whatever they were discussing now. Heero did not bother to read their lips since the topic was not important. All that mattered was that she was no longer focused on him. She was happy and more safe with Quatre, physically and emotionally, than she would ever be with him. Heero grunted to himself, satisfied with the results of his actions. His personal mission goals were advancing at a suitable rate. The mission itself left a sour taste in his mouth, but everyone important would be better for his efforts. Turning his attention back to his own meal, Heero finished up and waited outside for Quatre and Relena. Neither knew he was there, and Heero was definitely disobeying his orders to wait in the hotel suite, but his duty was as a bodyguard. When Quatre left the restaurant, Relena's arm twined around Quatre's in a gentlemanly fashion, Heero shadowed them, ever watchful for danger.

-oOoOo-

Quatre's new official residence was cloud nine. Everything in his life seemed wonderful. There was a missing piece no longer. His job was no more and no less demanding, providing him with a daily challenge for his mind. His sisters stopped nagging him to take vacations or at least a day off since he began taking several off whenever Relena was on the colony. His relationship with Relena was becoming easier and more natural. Heero went back to almost being his old self, saying little but not going out of his way to be silent either.

Things had been a little awkward at first between Heero and Relena. With a little time and patience she had slowly become accustomed to seeing Heero at Quatre's side whenever they were together. As her uncertainty and hesitation slipped away Relena began to reach for Quatre's hand without having to think about it even though Heero was standing not two feet away. She began to hug him back when they parted. Quatre would wake late at night to her voice on the phone needing to vent about some of the more idiotic politicians she had to deal with. By being gentle and patient, with not only Relena but Heero as well, Quatre's social life had moved from non-existent to reasonably active. Because of the history that was still fresh between Relena and Heero, Quatre had done his best to start at the beginning. He had worked to reinforce the fact that first and foremost they were all friends. Then, oh so slowly, he had started making small romantic gestures towards Relena beyond holding her hand. When he sensed that she was ready he invited her out after dinner to go dancing. Quatre had smiled like a complete fool the rest of the night. Holding her like that, moving with her, feeling her head resting against his shoulder and her breathy sighs of contentment had been the most intimate and wonderful thing Quatre had ever experienced. It had also been a major step forward for their relationship. Another large step would be happening later this week. Relena was taking a short working vacation to finalize her proposal before submitting it for approval and implementation and had agreed to come and stay with him for the duration instead of staying at a hotel like normal.

Quatre had been very tempted to take the whole week off that she would be here, but that was impractical. Instead he decided to work half days at the office and do any other work from home. He did not want to crowd Relena but at the same time wanted to spend as much time together as he could even if it meant they were working on different things in the same room. It would be a new experience for him, having someone to go home to, a woman specifically, who would be sharing his personal space. A woman who was not his sister. _' I hope she likes the plans I've made and the room I had prepared for her. Oh, I gotta remember to ask about getting that coffee she likes stocked. Come to think of it, do I have any coffee in the first place? My staff is small but there's gotta be someone who drinks the stuff. Hmm, I wonder if...' _

"Your lunch is going to get cold." Heero stated.

Quatre blinked at it, coming out of wherever he'd been. He thanked Heero and began to eat absentmindedly, his mind clearly gone again, though on the same topic as before Heero could not guess. It was odd to sit by and watch the developing relationship between Quatre and Relena. He felt out of place. Itchy in his skin. It had been a long time since Heero had stayed in one place for this long but he could not leave yet. He had to make sure things continued to progress between the two. Hopefully after her stay in Quatre's mansion things would be solidified enough that he could disappear for a while.

Reluctantly Heero admitted to himself that he would not be gone long. It was...nice...to have someone he could consider as more than a transitory friend. A stable life with reliable friends that he felt like he could be himself around was something Heero had never had or thought about having. His life was war, fighting, and that had been enough. It was not anymore. The time he spent as Quatre's bodyguard, the moments when he, Quatre and Relena would sit around talking and just enjoying each others company, the familiarity of having a set place to go at the end of the day was all different but nice. It made Heero feel more like a normal person, an ordinary citizen, than anything else he had encountered. He had a place here. A home. Besides, it was past time he did consider such things since war and weapons were becoming a thing of the past. Every day people like Quatre and Relena achieved more of their goals for a nearly violence free world. A world where Heero would have no place, not even that of a bodyguard. As a friend, and possibly a security expert, but not as a soldier. The thought was not unpleasant.

**a/n: Quatre's getting nice and confident now that most of the drama seems to be over and he knows where he stands with Relena. This isn't the end though so don't worry. Relationships are never anything but messy, frustrating and full of little complications. At least that's been my experience. Oh, and yes. We are going to continue getting little looks into Heero's mind that reveal small glimpses of how he continues to change. So, anyone still think they know where this is going? A review would enlighten me. - *not so sneaky beg for reviews***


	10. A Perfect Night

It had taken a couple of days, but Quatre eventually stopped smiling to himself whenever Relena made a noise. It was day four of her stay with him during her working vacation and things had gone even better than Quatre could have dreamed. There was no tension at all. Relena had shown surprise at first when he informed her that he planned on working from home in the afternoons so he could be "with" her but she had simply smiled and thanked him. In the evenings they had both put aside unfinished business to share a meal and some relaxation. Yesterday Quatre had played a few of his favorite violin pieces for her and Relena had been completely enchanted. Her enthused clapping was reward aplenty for his impromptu concert. Even Heero had leaked contentment and pleasure. At the end of each of her nights Relena would hold his hand, fingers intertwined, as he walked her to the door of her room. A chaste kiss on the cheek and gentlemanly hug would send her off to sleep. Quatre allowed himself a foolish little sigh of love and then would slip away to his own waiting dreams. Tonight would be a little different though. He had extra special plans for tonight.

"So, what do you think of the opera?" Quatre asked as he idly began to shuffle the papers in front of him into neat, organized piles. His true focus was completely on the beautiful woman in front of him.

"Opera? I always thought it was a little boring and stuffy. I like the music but I honestly can't ever really tell what the singers are actually trying to sing."

She had left her hair loose today. It fell in a shining wave over her shoulders on one side shielding her face partially from his view. Since she had no where to go, yet, and no one to impress Relena had chosen to wear casual jeans with an oversized soft knit sweater. The blue of the jeans highlighted her eyes while the simple, unrelieved black of her top accented the creamy white of her throat and shoulders. Her eyes were focused on Quatre, questioning, and it was then that Quatre realized he had been staring.

"Beautiful." He explained as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Relena blushed prettily, her eyes flickering down modestly for but a moment before returning to hold his gaze. He gave his head a small shake to clear it so he could refocus on the topic at hand. "That's good since I didn't buy tickets for it."

"All right...?" She said it slowly and with an inflection at the end. Quatre simply stayed quiet, enjoying the anticipation. After a minute Relena could not hold her curiosity any longer. "So...what did you buy tickets for?"

"The musical theater production of 'Among the Stars' which starts in about three hours. Plenty of time to eat first, if you'd like to go that is. I'm sure Heero would tag along with me if you aren't available." Quatre smirked to show he was teasing. Relena smirked back and played along.

"I'm sure he'd jump for excitement, giddy as a schoolgirl with her first crush."

"He does look lovely in that blue dress. He saves it for occasions just like this."

Unable to contain themselves, Quatre and Relena burst out laughing. Several seconds later all laughter stopped. They instead fixed wide eyes on Heero, his words still not quite making any sense.

"Matches my eyes."

_' Did he just...Well, that's new.' _Quatre pulled himself together quickly. It still boggled his mind a little that Heero, THE Heero Yuy, had made a joke, but Quatre was determined to act normal, at least for now. He let the laughter bubble up from within his chest naturally, glad that Relena's soon followed. It was not obvious that Heero relaxed a little as Quatre laughed, but Quatre could see it. A small release of tightness in the other man's posture. _' It's not really that odd. Heero has been coming out of his shell bit by bit the past little while. I'm really glad for him.'_

"Right, well, what do you say Relena? Wanna be my date or should I ask mister blue eyes over there?"

"As funny as that would be, I simply have to accept. Let me freshen up a bit and I'll meet you at my door, say...half an hour?"

He smiled and stood. Holding out his hand to help Relena to her feet, Quatre walked her to the office door and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. With a laugh still on her lips, Relena retreated to her room. Quatre would go to his own to get ready in just a moment. First...

"So, that was nice. As your friend, I feel it's important to make sure you understand what you just did. You made a joke."

Heero raised his eyes to Quatre's. The smirk was so firmly in place on Quatre's face that he could not have removed it with a wire brush at this point. When Heero quirked an eyebrow at him, Heero's lips tipped just the slightest upward at the corners, Quatre laughed again. He truly could not help it. All Quatre could do was hope Heero would continue to explore who he was a normal person, not a soldier, not a gundam pilot, but just an everyday, average person. It would definitely be interesting to watch.

"Sorry,..." Quatre managed as soon as he could, " I shouldn't tease. Before I go get ready myself can I beg a favor? Are you planning on accompanying us as my bodyguard because for tonight I'd really prefer you wouldn't. It's not really like I need you as a bodyguard anyway and we both know it."

"Is that an order?" Heero asked quietly, his gaze once again on the book in his lap.

"No, I just want to see..." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair nervously, unsure how to explain himself. "It's just, well, the last weeks have been good. I know she still cares for you but it seems you were right. I'm making her happy, and I knew I could, but you are always around. She's gotten used to you being there, Heero. As good as this is going I just want to make sure..."

"That she isn't using the idea of me as a buffer or fallback. That she is comfortable with you alone in your new relationship. Have you sensed something?"

Heero shot a swift, worried glance at Quatre, but the blonde did not notice. Quatre was too busy being relieved and frustrated at the same time. Frustrated at his thoughts and relieved Heero had been able to speak them aloud for him. After a few moments of silent thought Quatre shook his head.

"No, it's just my own mind over-thinking things. Planning for every possibility and outcome, you know?"

Heero nodded. The gundam pilot training. In order to stay alive on their missions, most with an expected fatal outcome, all five pilots had been lectured at length in strategy and taught to apply this learning to every aspect of their lives. The same training that served Quatre well in his business dealings was not so helpful when it came to his relationship with Relena. Heero fully understood, probably better than Quatre would ever know.

"Affirmative. Have a good time."

-oOoOo-

Everything was beautiful. The dinner had been a perfect start. The theater production the perfect compliment. Now, enjoying a leisurely ride back to his mansion, the champagne and intimate, interior lighting a perfect end. Relena was enchanting in a casual, thin strap, flowing gown the color of a soft earth sunset. Her hair shimmered like golden silk in the light. Quatre felt himself being enchanted and enraptured by her. That too, was beautiful and perfect.

He laughed now to remember how nervous he had been while dressing. As Quatre had exchanged articles of clothing for different ones, his mind had raced. All the little things that could go wrong vying with one another for the focus of his thoughts. Visions of flat tires, pouring rain, spilled coffee and dozens of other cliches had marched through his brain. They were cliches for the very reason that they happened. Often. So what would keep them from happening to him on this night? Finally settling on a forest green turtleneck and gray dress-pants, Quatre had pushed the doubts away. He reminded himself that tonight was all about Relena. Her pleasure, her happiness. If something happened he would refuse to let it interrupt their evening. Quatre remembered feeling like one big bundle of nerves as he had shrugged into a gray sports coat and left his room.

"Where did you go, just now?"

"I was thinking about how nervous I was earlier. It seems silly now."

Relena hummed and took another sip from her champagne flute. Quatre could not help staring. She was so damn beautiful.

"We're here, sir." Announced the driver. Their conversation halted as he and Relena exited the elegant, black limo and moved into his home. Quatre's staff were all in bed, the mansion dark. Instead of flicking on the lights, Quatre took Relena's hand and guided her slowly, silently through the halls and up the stairs. Too soon, they stood outside the door of her bedroom.

"Thank you for a wonderful and romantic night, Quatre. I really enjoyed myself."

"It was my pleasure."

Quatre smiled gently and hugged her delicate frame to himself. Holding her so closely he immediately felt the charge that went through her. She trembled ever so slightly and tightened her grip. Relena's voice was a husky murmur as it caressed the side of his neck.

"It doesn't have to end yet. Would you like to come in?"

Quatre's heart stuttered in his chest. _' Allah, does she know what she's asking?...Of course she does. She's a mature woman. What do I do?...I know what I __want__ to do, but ' _With extreme effort Quatre willed his mind to still. he breathed, centered, and opened himself. Searching, Quatre felt no hesitation, no uncertainty from Relena. She was calm, curious, and yes, he could feel the attraction and affection she felt for him. _' If she's truly ready...'_

"Are you sure?"

Relena pulled away. For a split second Quatre thought she had changed her mind. When she pulled him through the door with her, a coy smile on her lips, Quatre's mind uttered one small mental shout of panic. For the rest of the night he did not think at all.

**A/N: Before anyone asks, no I did not write and then exclude a lemon scene here. I am capable of such, but decided that it would be inappropriate. After all, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell ;) PLEASE REVIEW! I'm worried I might have lost some of the story flavor in this chapter, gone a bit too OOC, especially for Heero. I'm also worried I'm beginning to rush things a little which I definately don't want to do. I tried to imply that quite a bit of time has gone by between this chapter and the conference chapter, but I'm not sure if that got across... SO PLEASE REVIEW. Any critique is better than none :)**


	11. A Broken Morning

Sunlight slowly crept up the tangled covers and the couple on the grand four poster bed. Quatre woke as it slanted into his eyes through the drawn but not completely shut curtains. For a moment his sleep shrouded brain wondered where he was. In the corner of his vision, Relena's ribcage rose and fell in a serene rhythm. As the sleep cleared from his mind Quatre's lips broke into a smile. She was so peaceful in sleep. He did not give a thought to the tangle her hair had become, or the cute way her legs were hopelessly twisted in the sheets. Quatre simply watched her. He watched her draw deep breaths through slightly parted lips. He watched her eyelids flicker as she dreamed. He watched as she buried the side of her face slightly deeper into the pillow and the way her body tightened just a little right before she sighed in her sleep. A deep feeling of love, and an over whelming contentment took hold of Quatre. _'This is what I was missing. This right here...waking with her in the morning...sharing our days and nights...her, just her.'_

Quatre continued to watch until her eyes opened. She was laying on her side, facing him and he had rolled up onto his elbow. Relena stiffened, but relaxed quickly. Looking down, Relena gave small kicks until her legs were untangled and she could modestly pull the sheet up to cover her nakedness. Sensing that Relena was just a little uncomfortable, Quatre rolled onto his back, breaking his vigil.

"Good morning, Relena."

"Morning...I uh,..."

"Go ahead and take a shower if you want. I'm gonna head back to my room and take one myself. Meet you at breakfast?"

The way relief spread through his senses, and the fact that she nearly scurried to the bathroom wrapped firmly in whatever had been closest to hand made Quatre nervous. He had never been with a woman before, but if he was not feeling self-conscious why would she. _'Maybe it's normal for women? Or am I just weird because of the training and conditioning? Modesty aside, why would she hurry to the bathroom. It's like she feels guilty...Allah, please don't let her feel guilty about the most wonderful thing that's happened to me in my life. Wouldn't I sense if it was guilt? Maybe...Is something wrong? Was I...was it not good for her? Ah, I'm so confused...' _

Quatre stared at the bathroom door where Relena had disappeared. While his mind had been spinning with doubt and worry the shower had come on and had now been running several minutes. He moved in a daze, still puzzling over what he was sure was strange behavior on Relena's part, slowly gathering his clothes and pulling them on. Quatre had no word for the emotion that surged through him as he stepped out of Relena's room. The door seemed to echo in his mind as it clicked closed. Something was telling him not to leave, to go back in and talk with her, to do something, anything, as long as it was not what Quatre was actually doing. Quatre shook the feeling away. _' It's not like my room is far away...Now I'm just being ridiculous. We'll talk at breakfast. By then she'll have had time to...do whatever it is females do about whatever it is she's being...whatever she's being...geez...that wasn't confusing at all. Crystal clear.'_

-oOoOo-

He had taken longer in the shower than he had planned. Quatre's mind had tripped all over itself and refused to allow him to relax. Rationalizing only seemed to make things worse. Telling himself he would talk to Relena at breakfast should have made him feel better, but Quatre's mind kept replaying the scene from her bedroom. Each time it played behind his eyes her reaction to waking in bed with him seemed more and more distorted by Quatre's own doubts and fears.

Worry and doubt had slowly given way to annoyance. Last night had been sublime, a reward for years of patience and weeks of understanding. It had not even been his idea! Quatre had not considered that being with Relena that way would happen last night. He had been happy. Happy with the way things were going between them and wanted to shar that happiness with Relena. Okay, so maybe he had had small doubts, but it was supposed to be a product of over-analyzing. Still, even without the unplanned intimacy, last night had been special for him and her less than appealing reaction this morning was ruining it.

The thought that maybe Quatre should have declined on the grounds that it was happening maybe a bit too soon conflicted him even more. As a gentleman he could have possibly handled the situation a little better. Like the time that drunken heiress had come on to him at a business associate's wedding. He had been a gentleman then, but Relena was no drunken heiress. She was the woman he loved. Quatre was simply a man in love. He would not change what had happened between he and Relena last night for anything. Knowing that and thinking he should have declined anyway made Quatre feel dirty somehow. Hence the extra long shower.

His feelings were slipping closer and closer to the realm of anger as Quatre walked toward the breakfast nook off his dining room. He slipped completely into anger as Relena refused to meet his eyes. Unable to help the small bits of emotion that leaked out, Quatre jerked the chair out sharply and clanked his silverware together when he picked up his fork. Because he was watching, he saw Relena flinch slightly at the sharp ringing sound. Helping himself to a stack of pancakes, Quatre decided to see how long the unusual silence would stretch between them. Relena ate slowly, not lost in thought if Quatre was any judge of such things, but still only looking down at her plate. What small hold Quatre did have over his present anger continued to stretch until it was paper thin. Relena was done eating and simply sitting there, staring into her coffee cup. She raised it for a sip and looked out the window. She was looking anywhere, but at him. His hold finally snapped.

"That's enough. Something happened between last night and this morning to make you uncomfortable with me and I want to know what it is."

It was a demand, not a statement, not a question, but a bald demand with the anger he was feeling coloring every word. Relena flinched and her eyes went wide at his tone. Very few people had ever heard Quatre speak as he just had to her. His own eyes were sparking, lightning over the sea, but Relena could not see it. Still, even startled, she would not meet his gaze.

"I'm waiting, Relena. I deserve an explanation."

"What do you want me to say, Quatre?" Relena queried, her own voice holding a hint of heat and a lot of embarrassment. "I like you, but I don't think this is working? It's not you, it's me? I can't help feeling that last night was a mistake? I honestly wish that I could love you, and I've been trying to, but I can't? It's all true but none of it makes me feel any better. I'm hurting you, and I hate it because you don't deserve it. How am I supposed to tell you that I'm not happy being with you, that I can't seem to let go of my feelings for Heero, as unfounded as they logically are, even though you are doing everything right? How am I supposed to explain that I feel horrible about last night, because somewhere inside me it feels like I've cheated on my own heart? Is that what you want to hear, Quatre? You tell me."

Relena's voice and anger had risen in crescendo until now they were a match for his own. The anger, anger at himself, for allowing this situation, at her for deceiving him all this time, it all boiled under the surface of his skin. Violence, so unlike Quatre, turned the edges of his vision red.

"I don't believe you. I don't believe it was all a lie. You seemed, no, you were happy enough until this morning."

"I wasn't happy! I was content. You're easy to be with Quatre, we're good friends, and I was trying so hard. I told you from the beginning. I was up front with you about my feelings then, and at first I thought it was working, but I just...gods I don't know. All I really know is I don't want to be doing this. I don't want to fight with you."

"So, what? That's it? You aren't happy but invite me into your room anyway and then..." Quatre choked on his anger and pain. He could not. Could not say aloud what he knew was inevitable now. Skipping over the phrase, he grit his teeth and forced himself to continue. "Maybe you should book a hotel room for the rest of your stay on the colony."

"I already have."

Hurt and anger were raging through Quatre, blinding him. Both he and Relena had stopped shouting at this point having both clamped tightly a hold of themselves. Her words were barely whispers and tear streaks ran from her eyes to her chin, leaving just the faintest track in whatever cosmetics she had applied. They were both standing, but Relena was holding her arms against her chest as though to protect herself. She was also hunched over a little, as though she was the ancient god Atlas, trying to shoulder the weight of the world. Quatre, on the other hand, was nearly vibrating with the need to either loose his pain in a piercing keen or utterly destroy something with his bare hands. His whole body was tight, straining, his hands tight fists and his muscles screaming in protest at having to remain rigidly by his sides. Even the relief of grinding his teeth together was denied.

"I'm leaving. Quatre, I'm..."

"DON'T!" It came out shouted. Relena took an involuntary step away from him. Quatre gathered what was left of his pride and used it to center himself. A colossal effort of will blended with the pain and served to moderate his voice. A few minutes. That was all he needed. Then, when she was gone, he could explode then. Minutes. "Just go, please. I don't want to hear it. I can't hear it."

He had not been able to say it with his eyes open and so had closed them. Quatre had never liked watching her walk away from him, and now the sight would hurt in a whole new way. Maybe it was cowardly, but he could not deal with anymore pain right now. For a few seconds there was silence, then a sob and the swishing of Relena's dress as she turned to walk away. The measured footsteps never came. Instead Quatre heard the quick, staccato beat of Relena's heels as she ran. She fled from him, from the pain inside of him they both knew she had caused. That he had allowed. Violence, barely contained, still boiling under his skin, rage and hurt, crippling, consuming, it was all eating away at him. His heart was a crushed, throbbing center of some emotion beyond pain. Quatre's mind could not supply an adequate word to describe it. Quatre's mind supplied nothing at all, his higher, rational thought unable to function through the pure intensity of his feelings. So stood there, frozen, eyes closed, vibrating, throbbing, unable to even pray for guidance or relief. A prisoner of his shattered heart.


	12. Confrontation

Heero finished his morning workout with twenty five laps in the pool. It was refreshing, invigorating and soothing. He had almost been reluctant to climb out of the cool water but it was time. Quatre would be heading for his office in twenty minutes. Showering quickly, Heero was brisk and efficient in his movements. Wet towel dumped in the hamper. Brush teeth then rinse mouth, cup and brush. Run his fingers through his hair instead of using a brush out of habit. Grab a shirt, put it on, grab underwear and slip into them, grab pants and put on. Sweep gaze around the room to make sure everything is in place before leaving. Meet Quatre by the front door after stopping by the kitchen for a muffin or piece of fruit. This had been his routine since being hired to be Quatre's live-in bodyguard.

The first sign Heero noticed indicating something was off about this morning was the kitchen staff. Normally at least one cook had already begun cleaning and recently Heero had been greeting whoever crossed his path. No one was in the kitchen. He listened, but the silence was natural. There was no sense of danger. Instincts screaming, Heero went to wait by the front door since Quatre was not there yet. After ten minutes he ditched routine and went searching. Senses on alert, Heero stalked on quiet feet towards Quatre's room. He eased the door open just enough to see that the room was empty. Next was Relena's room. Again empty. Heero sensed there was something more to the emptiness, but there was no sign of a struggle or any such thing. He moved on. Quatre rarely chose to work the entire day from home, but perhaps if his date with Relena had gone well enough the blonde would do so today. However the home office, library and study were all empty as well.

Heero was really starting to worry since one of the previous rooms should have been occupied at least by Relena. His training had been intensive and extensive though, so instead of showing worry or hurrying his movements Heero was relaxed. His mind working overtime to form a strategy and analysis based on observed data. The first priority was finding Relena and Quatre. The easiest way was not going to be to search every room in Quatre's mansion himself. Heero detoured his steps to the security headquarters inside the domicile. A private was on duty from the Maguanac security force Quatre employed and reported that Relena had left a short while ago and had seemed upset but not distressed. Master Quatre had not left at all. There were no signs of break in and no alarms to indicate forced entry. All the information meant to Heero was that Relena was safe and Quatre was still on the property. The fact that Relena had seemed upset to the guard was worrisome but would have to wait.

Heero hunted down one of the kitchen staff. The dishes he had noticed earlier were indicative that a breakfast had been prepared and served. Learning that indeed breakfast had been served to Miss Relena and Master Quatre, Heero decided to start a more informed search from Quatre's normal breakfast nook. He was startled at what he found. Quatre was still there, standing in front of his chair, but something was most definitely wrong. His eyes were closed and his hands were clenched. A darkness seemed to hang over the normally happy young man. Heero approached cautiously but Quatre did not so much as move a muscle. Quatre gave no indication at all that he was aware of Heero's presence.

"Quatre."

Battle instinct and years of living as the perfect soldier was all that saved Heero from the right hook. Even so, he could feel the friction of Quatre's knuckle as it grazed Heero's cheek. His body went into motion, dodging, twisting, waiting for an opening. Quatre's sudden and uncharacteristic assault was purely emotion driven. There was no form, no recognizable pattern and no way to predict Quatre's next move. It was completely spontaneous and extremely deadly considering the power and focus Quatre was able to command even subconsciously.

Finally an opportunity presented itself. Acting with all the speed momentum could give him, Heero lunged under Quatre's punch. Hook the extended arm, Heero spun around Quatre's body and pulled the arm with him. Quatre maneuvered out of the intended arm bar so Heero improvised. After a short struggle for dominance, Quatre ended up with both arms locked in Heero's steel grip and held behind his back. Heero also had him bent backwards over an extended knee. If Quatre struggled further he could end up on the floor with no leverage at all. Heero was sporting what felt like a fractured rib but held the upper hand in the fight. The first sign of reason sparked in Quatre's eyes, which due to his current position, were forced to meet Heero's gaze. Raw emotion met and held emotionless as Heero waited patiently for Quatre to explain the sudden violence. However, it soon became apparant that the Arabic man was content to simply glare hatred at Heero. It shook him a little, being on the receiving end of a glare like that.

"What happened?"

Quatre's face twisted, his eyes flickering to some emotion Heero could not name before settling back on what was definatly rage. Heero refused to ask again and so waited the full ten minutes Quatre stayed silent before finally heaving a resigned sigh. The blonde's body was still very tense in Heero's grip so he did not dare release his hold, but Heero listened very intently.

"Relena left me this morning."

Heero was puzzled. There had to be more. Quatre had said it with no inflection, no emotion but the anger in his eyes. Heero waited knowing Quatre would feel compelled to speak.

"She wasn't happy, but invited me to...said she couldn't forget her feelings for you. Things got a little heated so she left not only me but here."

Okay, a little bit of what was definitely pain and significantly less anger there. Heero waited still. He would keep waiting, letting Quatre speak until the tension left and Heero would be able to release Quatre. He needed more information. He needed to know if the mission was salvagable.

"She...we...last night..." Quatre was unable to finish whatever it was that he was trying to say, but with each false start a little more anger and tension bled away. Hurt showed in Quatre's eyes now, instead of the boiling rage from earlier. "It doesn't matter. I did this to myself. Fooled myself. She was right. She was truthful with me from the start, trying not to hurt me. Allah, _she_ was trying not to _hurt me_. What did we think would happen if she didn't fall in love with me? Any other outcome would have resulted exactly like this. With me hurt by her and her hurt by you and both of us just letting it happen. So where does that leave all of us? Her pining for you for the rest of her life and me pining for her? Heero, please, I won't attack you again..."

The tension was gone. Heero knew there was still something Quatre was not saying, or more accurately could not bring himself to say, but the tension was gone. Instead of rage, or anger, Quatre was feeling on hurt. An indescribable amount of pain. Heero could hear depths of it in Quatre's voice, see waves of it in Quatre's eyes, but still could not fathom the true extent of the pain.

"I'm going to release you."

He was as good as his word. Gently he loosened his hold, wondering if he should lever Quatre to a standing posistion, but the blonde allowed himself to droop. It was like all the energy left with the anger so that Quatre sprawled on the floor. The image of the still powerful ex-pilot, very influential business mogul laying in a wrinkled suit on the floor with Heero standing over him was absurd. Feeling awkward, Heero shifted to the side and sat, one leg extended with the other drawn up, on Quatre's right side. So, the mission was a failure. He had failed again. It seemed that he did so whenever it came to Relena. First he had failed to kill her. Then he had failed to protect her. He had failed to be with her the way she wanted and now he had failed to provide the best for her. _'At least I'll never fail to love her.'_ Heero did not realize he had spoken aloud until Quatre made a strangled sound beside him.

"You _what?_ Oh my god, Heero! Why...why didn't you just..." Quatre growled, his frustration audible and almost tangible. Heero braced, expecting a backslide into a violence he would not bother to protect himself from since now he felt he deserved it. He did not even bother to look at Quatre, knowing that his instincts would compel him to dodge a blow. Heero was surprised when no such physical punishment came. Instead it was a growled demand for explanation. It sounded like Quatre had recovered some of his anger but it was still tempered by hurt and laced confusion. Resigning himself, Heero began to explain.

"I always knew she loved me. I loved her too, but...it felt like I tainted her because I was tainted. I went away every chance I got. I knew she'd never be able to be with me. She's worked hard to eliminate violence and that's all I know. I have enemies still who find me, try to kill me. I'm not perfect, I wouldn't be able to keep her safe all the time, I'd already failed once. If she was with me, she'd be at risk. Relena is too important for that. Too important to me. I wanted to be with her anyway. I left...for two years I did nothing but work towards eliminating the obstacles in our path, but there were always more. We won peace by fighting in a war, ending it, but that doesn't work on a smaller scale. Relena's way will, but I have no place there. I can love her...but loving her isn't enough. I'm not what she needs, just what she wants. I couldn't stay away any longer so when I found out you two were close I decided to come back. I thought I could work for you and be far enough away to make her as happy as I could while keeping myself free of temptation. Then I saw that you were in love with her. I had already been thinking that someone like you would be better for her than I was. So I..."

"Forced my and Relena's hand into beginning a relationship that was doomed from the start. What's that saying? 'The road to hell..." Quatre had interrupted Heero and was now interrupted in turn.

"...is paved with good intentions. It appears factual."

Heero, weary from his confession, rested his arm on his knee and his forehead on his arm. He wondered idly why emotions seemed to drain him but physical activity rarely did. Some part of his brain just as idly answered with the usual culprit; his physical conditioning. Quatre stared at the cielling. Both men lapsed into a companionable silence. Eventually Quatre heaved a tired sigh and sat up, mirroring Heero's pose.

"This is all just a mess. You love her but won't allow yourself to be with her. I love her but she doesn't want to be with me. So where does that leave us? Think of it strategically Heero. The obvious solution to achieve her happiness, something I can safely assume we both want, is to let her make the choice."

Heero grunted but did not bother with a vocal answer. Things could not be that simple. He had already explained to Quatre the reasons why.

"She's already made her choice so really the problem is you. So go be her bodyguard. Relena actually needs one we can all trust and you might not be perfect, but damn near it when it comes to warfare. If you don't want your past to color her political interests than either work something out with her for the public or keep everything under wraps. The press never did figure out that she and I were dating. It can be done." Quatre must have felt Heero's reluctance for he continued ruthlessly. "You have always followed your own heart so why stop now. You want her to be happy, you want her to have the best and in her eyes that's you. If you don't try you'll both just be miserable."

When Quatre was done the companionable silence returned. He and Quatre just sat there, staring into space, each lost in thier own thoughts. He could not speak for his comrade but Heero's own thoughts centered around one woman. The consequences of following his own advice and the rewards. Finally coming to a decision, Heero stood. He offered Quatre a hand up and when they were both standing Heero looked into Quatre's eyes. Still not great with words, Heero just nodded and turned to go. He almost looked back but Quatre forestalled him.

"Good luck with the girl we love. Take care of her and don't worry. I'll be all right. Let me know if you're not coming back so I know not to wait for you tomorrow morning."

"I'll be in touch. Thanks Quatre."

With those words, Heero was gone. Quatre stood there and privately wondered when he would be able to believe his own words.


	13. Epilogue

"So you said no? I was second choice? Awww, man..." Duo pouted but swiftly perked back up. "But you'll definately be there right? It's not a party without you."

"Yes, Duo, I'll be there, yes I'm taking care of the catering and venue, even though that's supposed to be your job as best man, and yes I'd love to talk with you about it all...again...but right now I'm really very busy."

"I get it, yeal all right. Later."

Duo's happy face blipped off Quatre's vid screen. It was not soon enough for Quatre. _'When I said I'd take care of the arrangements for the bachelor party I didn't expect to be called every day...or hour...for an update. Stupid puppy eyes. Has anyone besides Heero, Wufei and Hilde ever been able to say no to him? Somehow...I doub it.' _Quatre picked up his pen to continue his work but found his mind unco-operative.

"Three years. I can't believe it. Where did the time go?"

It still hurt sometimes. Especially when he saw them together too often or for too long at one time. Thankfully those times, when the pain was too much, were very rare these days. Every year it got easier. _'At least we're back to the way we were before. I can still enjoy thier company.' _Those first months had been brutal. Quatre had thrown himself even more into his work. He had exhausted himself on a daily basis. Meeting relena for a morning brunch a month and a half after she had left him had been excruiciating. He had taken the lead, hiding his pain so Relena would not see it since she had already felt guilty. It had been hard. At the time, simply saying Relena's name was enough to cause Quatre to spasm, just a little twitch to the untrained eye, in pain. _'It really is amazing what time can do...'_

Another call was coming through his vidphone. Quatre absently turned his attention to it. The readout identiied the caller as Relena. A genuine smile of happiness crossed his features. Three years ago he would not have smiled at all. Progress. Lots of it. As he picked up the phone and watched her smiling image come on the screen, Heero standing discreetly against the wall behind her since he was her bodyguard now, Quatre was certain of two things. There would always be a place in his heart with her name written on it, and her happiness had been worth every second, even though it had cost him his own...for now.

**a/n: Well that's it. I'm really sorry for those of you who thought Quatre and Relena would end up together but I never actually claimed it was a 4xR pairing. It's been 1xR all along. I wanted to do a story seen from the "loser's" point of view when it came to a love triangle. I think it turned out really well. I'm not thinking of doing a sequel so sorry again. I might however do an alternate ending starting about chapter 12 where she does actually come back to Quatre after figuring herself out but I wouldn't hold my breath with that. Thankyou to everyone who reviewed. I can't tell you how much that means to me. If anyone was wondering why I waited so long in between most updates its usually because I was waiting on a certain number of reviews, they are really inspiring to get. I posted these last three chapters back to back because I'm starting an original writing project tomorrow and wanted to get this wrapped up. If I get one last review from everyone letting me know what they think, good or bad, and some constructive critisism it would be especially helpful. THANKS AGAIN (even if you didn't review :P)**


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